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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why her I will never know

Life has a funny way of throwing you a curve ball when you least expect it. The past few weeks have been a bit emotional around here. We found out my Gram has early Alzhemiers diease, which is heartbreaking to me. She has been one of the three main characters in this play I call "LIFE", I alread lost one and now slowly over the next few years I will lose another. She already has changed so much, its like a totally different person (who is not my Gram) is in her body. Once in awhile she shows her face but not very often. I think sometimes this might be worse then cancer, I mean at somepoint she is going to look at me and not know who the hell I am. Since we found out it seems I have become her Mother and she treats my mom like her lil baby that she has to take care of. Alot of things are going to be changing around here within the next few months. She cannot be alone anymore, I need to be able to make sure is taking her meds and eating properly. I am not gonna lie it is frustrating and upsetting dealing with her sometimes, but I love her so much that there is NOTHING I would not do for her. We are going to sit down and discuss what we are going to do, but at some point soon she is going to be selling the house and moving into a double with Steve and I.   She hates being in that big house by herself and I cannot run over there everyday, if she is next door or upstairs it will be alot easier and we can take care of things for her. I just pray God gives us all the strength to get through this. Its so hard for me to see her act like this she was always so strong, so in control of everything and now its like she is a child. I hope she will start taking the meds and that they will help her to stay steady for a long time to come. We need to get into a support group so we can figure out how to deal with this. I have so much more epathy for my cousins who have been dealing with this diease for a long time now. Two of my grandmothers younger sisters also have this and they seem much worse and it hurts me to because I love both of my great aunts dearly and to see them going through this is devastating too.
prayers are needed ~ Please

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