Faith is what you believe ~ Not what you know

I have seen so much suffering over the past week! Its hard for me to not be affected by it. 2 woman on Twitter that I follow have lost there babies after struggling to get pregnant for years. It is so unfair and I can’t seem to understand why God would allow this to happen to families. As I sit here 19wks pregnant myself worried sick everyday that this may end up my fate I pray for peace and comfort for these ladies. I think to myself why some woman (my ex sis n law 2 be exact ) were able to have two healthy pregnancies and easy peasy births and now have two amazingly smart, beautiful, sweet, loving children (credit to there Father, My Mom and Me for raising them) YET there are woman in these world who would be amazing mothers and would do anything to have just one child. They suffer thru painful fertility treatments, heartache like no other, only to be slapped in the face with a death of a child they never even got to hold. Its not right, its just NOT FUCKING right! I get so angry and I feel GUILITY as hell that I am still pregnant. I am so happy and overjoyed but I feel like I cant be TOO happy or else my baby will be taken too. This has been a rough 19wks already so far….worried about losing the baby, my diabetes, my high blood pressure the bleeding O that fucking bleeding. Its been enough to put me in a looney bin I tell ya.




I am not a holy roller nor do I ever pretend to be a perfect christian, but I do believe this……the Lord has done amazing things in my life, things that I cannot explain away as anything else but the Lord my father carrying me too it and through it. In the darkest times of my life he has shown me the light. I will never be embarassed about my faith. Below is a quote that has gotten me thru the deaths of my beloved Aunt Debbie and my loving StepDad Kenny I hope it will help some of you!



” I don’t always understand God, but I do always TRUST him”



This I pray ~ Lord please be with these woman, there husbands and families as they go through this heartache and try 2 comfort there hearts as only you our father can. I know we are never alone Lord because we always have you by our side! Please take those 3 lil angel babies into your arms and protect and keep them until they are reunitied with there loving parents again, Lord. In your precious name I pray Amen -