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Well I took a pregnancy test Wednesday morning and it was negative :( I was very sad and so was Steve, but I decided that I really need to get some weight off and get healthier before I get pregnant. It would have been a wonderful christmas surprise if I was but it was not meant to be yet. It seems everywhere I look everywhere I turn its babies or someone else is pregnant, so its making me a bit insane. I can certainly see how this can become a complete obsession. Its all you think about, dream about, talk about its crazy. I have been doing some major thinking over the past two days. Life is not easy and becoming a parent is a privilege not a right so I need to get myself as healthy and prepared as possible, before we take on this life changing task. So I know its not gonna be easy, but with prayer and some inner strength I can do it!!!!! Here is my new plan of attack .............
I am going test and monitor for my ovulation, I am going to go back to the gym 3xs a week, go back on weight watchers, plan to lose 20lbs or more by Valentine's Day , montior my blood sugars, Start clomid in Feb or March, get my butt back to church, enjoy being married and when its time for us to have a baby we will. It is all is God's hands and I have to trust in him.
3 comments:
Trust me, it is very easy to get obsessed with the whole baby thing. It can take over your life, if you let it. I spent literally years praying and crying about it, wasting the precious time I should have been enjoying with Lee. It snowballed into this huge obstacle,before I even realized it.
Just enjoy your time with Steve, when it happens and you are a parent, you will no longer have time for anything, but making sure your family is taken care of. Take good care of yourself now, and prepare yourself and your body for what will take over it. You 2 will be great parents, but the time you have together now will seem like a dream once the baby comes. Enjoy it and enjoy "trying" to concieve. It became a chore for us and we lost so much romance trying to make it happen. It will happen, in HIS time and HIS way, if it be HIS will! I have learned that life is what you make it and attitude is of great importance.
I love you guys. We both do. I never want you to face what we went thru, but hopefully people can see that it didn't break us, it made us stronger! <3
I hope I can be as strong and as wonderful of a woman as you are Sue. I pray for you all the time and cry when I think about what you went through. I love you so much more then words could ever express.... I am always here for you and lee always!!!! HUGS
Hey Girl, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I don't understand the reasons why, but I thank God every day that I had someone as wonderful as Lee to go thru it with. He could have easily just walked away, I was a emotional mess, but he stuck by me and together we made something beautiful out of a terrible time for us. We became who we are to each other, because of that time. He is my everything and I am his, because at the end of the day, we really truly only have each other. I know we have a big family, but no one knows us like we know each other. We are so blessed to have found peace and contentment in each other, not needing to look anywhere else to feel worthwhile. Contentment is a hard thing to find in this world. So, if you find it, hang on to it, not many people ever find it.
I love you so much. Please don't be sad for us. I feel that we are blessed beyond words to have what we have. I stopped looking at what we didn't have and focused on what we do have. It's so much more than most people ever get to experience.
Hang in there. I love you so much. You are in my prayers every day! <3
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